2008 Woodie Awards
Do girls really need forever to get ready to go out, or is their preparation just overkill?
Way too long
Cody Boland
Issue date: 4/23/08 Section: The Edge
Nothing is better than a couple of guys going out on the weekend with a few of their closest pals. Well, perhaps one thing is better: taking out a girl. Perhaps she is just a friend, or perhaps she is a little more, but no matter who she is, one common thread exists with the female gender: She will take way too long to get ready.
As a guy who does not even begin to care about how I look, girls who doll themselves up continue to confuse me. OK, so they do not want to look like they rolled out of bed after a three-day bender. That makes sense, but girls seem to take it too far.
Now, it is clear I am generalizing here. Of course there are girls out there who give the smell check to the shirt they just played softball in and decide they are the Princess of Wales, but most girls seem to get through half of their hyper-inflated wardrobe before they settle on something that might as well be suspenders to most guys out there.
Waiting on a girl is like ordering something from the Internet - it always seems to take a week. First they spend all that time just to find the right clothes. That takes awhile, but after that they are ready to go, right? Nope. Then they have to carefully apply makeup, mess with their hair, use perfume, fly to African diamond mines to get just the right jewelry - the point is, it takes quite a bit of time.
The problem has to be that girls judge each other for every little detail. They always have to impress each other for fear of … something. I am not sure of what, but I guess the drama that would result from a bad outfit makes it acceptable to spend the large part of the night trying to find the right skirt to go with the heels they will not be able to walk in at the end of the night because they will be too drunk to stand up straight.
There is something that really boggles the mind. Girls seem to love to make themselves look all prim and proper for weekend parties, which would be respectable, until everyone realizes how foolish they end up acting by the end of the night. Living in the residence halls, it is not an uncommon sight to see a well-dressed girl, with perfume wafting through the air and makeup all over her face, stumbling around like a drunken hobo and talking like a Tourette's victim who cannot control the volume of her voice.
It is not a bad thing that girls care about how they look; they just spend too much time on it. If it is going to become a time-consuming chore to find just the right blouse, maybe a T-shirt will do.
Nobody is hanging out with anybody special on the weekends; they are spending time with the same people they see at school on a daily basis. I would rather be out having fun with my friends instead of waiting around for a girl to put on barely noticeable eyeliner. So if girls still want to spend all that time getting ready, I say they start at 5, that way they will be ready to go before morning rolls around.
As a guy who does not even begin to care about how I look, girls who doll themselves up continue to confuse me. OK, so they do not want to look like they rolled out of bed after a three-day bender. That makes sense, but girls seem to take it too far.
Now, it is clear I am generalizing here. Of course there are girls out there who give the smell check to the shirt they just played softball in and decide they are the Princess of Wales, but most girls seem to get through half of their hyper-inflated wardrobe before they settle on something that might as well be suspenders to most guys out there.
Waiting on a girl is like ordering something from the Internet - it always seems to take a week. First they spend all that time just to find the right clothes. That takes awhile, but after that they are ready to go, right? Nope. Then they have to carefully apply makeup, mess with their hair, use perfume, fly to African diamond mines to get just the right jewelry - the point is, it takes quite a bit of time.
The problem has to be that girls judge each other for every little detail. They always have to impress each other for fear of … something. I am not sure of what, but I guess the drama that would result from a bad outfit makes it acceptable to spend the large part of the night trying to find the right skirt to go with the heels they will not be able to walk in at the end of the night because they will be too drunk to stand up straight.
There is something that really boggles the mind. Girls seem to love to make themselves look all prim and proper for weekend parties, which would be respectable, until everyone realizes how foolish they end up acting by the end of the night. Living in the residence halls, it is not an uncommon sight to see a well-dressed girl, with perfume wafting through the air and makeup all over her face, stumbling around like a drunken hobo and talking like a Tourette's victim who cannot control the volume of her voice.
It is not a bad thing that girls care about how they look; they just spend too much time on it. If it is going to become a time-consuming chore to find just the right blouse, maybe a T-shirt will do.
Nobody is hanging out with anybody special on the weekends; they are spending time with the same people they see at school on a daily basis. I would rather be out having fun with my friends instead of waiting around for a girl to put on barely noticeable eyeliner. So if girls still want to spend all that time getting ready, I say they start at 5, that way they will be ready to go before morning rolls around.
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Josh Brown
posted 4/23/08 @ 11:29 AM CST
The author touched on an even more important point than the one stated in the title. Maybe the real issue is to work at ending the night looking as good as when you began. (Continued…)
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