2008 Woodie Awards
Things to do before leaving Western
Zach Wingerter
Issue date: 4/25/08 Section: Opinion
By now, you're probably counting the days until the end of school.
For some, the next few weeks will be a struggle to catch up on any missed assignments and trudge through those end-of-the-semester projects. For others - especially graduating seniors - it's a glorious ride off into the sunset.
All of us have one thing in common, though: When we reminisce about our college experience with co-workers, friends and family in the future, we will all be talking about the same place.
While I do not encourage the breaking or bending of any laws, there are 10 things that stand out at Western Illinois University as things you can only do while you're here. Consider this a checklist for the ultimate Western experience.
Ride the drunk bus. When you're 80, you can tell your great-grandchildren that you saw people having sex, someone puking and someone defecating - all in a three-seat radius.
See someone take the "walk of shame." The best tale I've heard involves a girl and her mother, still in heels and bar clothes, walking across Q-lot late on a Saturday morning during Mom's Weekend. That image makes all of MasterCard's so-called "priceless" moments look like common occurrences by comparison.
Wake up in a residence hall that's not yours. Whether there was hanky-panky or not won't matter; as long as you leave out important details (like that it was another dude's room), you're sure to get a high-five when you tell the story at the water cooler.
Don't paint the Rocky statue next to the football field. It's not a simple, harmless tradition that groups of people have upheld for years. It's not fun, it hurts tons of people and it's terrible graffiti that makes our entire campus look crappy. Spray-painting statues late at night when no one is around is awful. (Paint Rocky.)
Go to the Dog Pound for kegs and eggs. A Finals Week tradition, kegs and eggs at the Dog Pound is a great way to console yourself after bombing that 8 a.m. statistics final.
For some, the next few weeks will be a struggle to catch up on any missed assignments and trudge through those end-of-the-semester projects. For others - especially graduating seniors - it's a glorious ride off into the sunset.
All of us have one thing in common, though: When we reminisce about our college experience with co-workers, friends and family in the future, we will all be talking about the same place.
While I do not encourage the breaking or bending of any laws, there are 10 things that stand out at Western Illinois University as things you can only do while you're here. Consider this a checklist for the ultimate Western experience.
Ride the drunk bus. When you're 80, you can tell your great-grandchildren that you saw people having sex, someone puking and someone defecating - all in a three-seat radius.
See someone take the "walk of shame." The best tale I've heard involves a girl and her mother, still in heels and bar clothes, walking across Q-lot late on a Saturday morning during Mom's Weekend. That image makes all of MasterCard's so-called "priceless" moments look like common occurrences by comparison.
Wake up in a residence hall that's not yours. Whether there was hanky-panky or not won't matter; as long as you leave out important details (like that it was another dude's room), you're sure to get a high-five when you tell the story at the water cooler.
Don't paint the Rocky statue next to the football field. It's not a simple, harmless tradition that groups of people have upheld for years. It's not fun, it hurts tons of people and it's terrible graffiti that makes our entire campus look crappy. Spray-painting statues late at night when no one is around is awful. (Paint Rocky.)
Go to the Dog Pound for kegs and eggs. A Finals Week tradition, kegs and eggs at the Dog Pound is a great way to console yourself after bombing that 8 a.m. statistics final.
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