2008 Woodie Awards
How to be a responsible gambler
Jeff Henderson
Issue date: 4/28/08 Section: Opinion
Turning 21 is a time where, as first-class adults (opposed to peasantly 18- to 20-year-old adults), people can indulge in exclusive activities. Of course, people mostly rave about the ability to drink profuse amounts of liquor. This privilege makes 21-year-olds think back at how life was different before their milestone and reflect on the differences. But no matter how long they reflect, they inevitably realize there is basically no difference to turning 21.
Don't be discouraged by this realization if you are not yet 21. There are benefits students take advantage of that might strike your fancy. Many 21-year-olds around the world and here at Western Illinois University excitedly gather friends, pack up snacks and, with great enthusiasm, travel hours for breathtaking fun. They find a place where they can sit down at a table while beautiful waitresses give them drinks as they eagerly and joyously hand away wads upon wads of money to that particular casino. Being 21 is pretty great. But this is OK, because the money would only have been used for pettier reasons like tuition, rent and gas for the ride home.
However, casinos are very wary of college students ruining their lives by gambling money they can't afford to lose. For this reason, they caringly provide ways of prevention. One way is by thoughtfully hanging up posters with numbers to call for people with gambling problems. These posters are conveniently found on walls as far away from the tables as humanly possible, while still "officially" there. For example: in janitorial closets behind mops covered in cobwebs from the Al Capone era.
Another method casinos implement to keep students safe is making brochures to warn students about gambling. These helpful brochures are almost exclusively found at stations where people cash in their winnings, fittingly known as "cages." Of course, cages are only visited when gamblers are ready to go home, making the brochures helpful to everyone after giving away most of their money, friends' money, tuition and friends' tuition.
Don't be discouraged by this realization if you are not yet 21. There are benefits students take advantage of that might strike your fancy. Many 21-year-olds around the world and here at Western Illinois University excitedly gather friends, pack up snacks and, with great enthusiasm, travel hours for breathtaking fun. They find a place where they can sit down at a table while beautiful waitresses give them drinks as they eagerly and joyously hand away wads upon wads of money to that particular casino. Being 21 is pretty great. But this is OK, because the money would only have been used for pettier reasons like tuition, rent and gas for the ride home.
However, casinos are very wary of college students ruining their lives by gambling money they can't afford to lose. For this reason, they caringly provide ways of prevention. One way is by thoughtfully hanging up posters with numbers to call for people with gambling problems. These posters are conveniently found on walls as far away from the tables as humanly possible, while still "officially" there. For example: in janitorial closets behind mops covered in cobwebs from the Al Capone era.
Another method casinos implement to keep students safe is making brochures to warn students about gambling. These helpful brochures are almost exclusively found at stations where people cash in their winnings, fittingly known as "cages." Of course, cages are only visited when gamblers are ready to go home, making the brochures helpful to everyone after giving away most of their money, friends' money, tuition and friends' tuition.
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